Mike Myers Didn’t Show Up For Halloween III, What He Fell Off The Map That Day Or What?

Cover of "Halloween III: Season of the Wi...

Cover via Amazon

What In The H**L Went Wrong In Halloween III? 😦

So we all know what time it is when the Calendar 31st of October day show up right? It not a visit from the 50’s fav song “Mister Sandman” showing up in a wrinkled ruffed up hand-me-down dusted up Chucks House Of Magic Milkman outfit.
 
Or your typical last-minute Barneywith the jacked up front grill plastic wedge teeth look either. And not even Big Mike shows up, but rather guys in business suits. Yea that’s right in Halloween III from the 80’s there was no Mike Myers, not a peep or a trace of the famed cyribil assassin.
 
And that’s the jacked up part, cause we know that is the day Myers goes all out walking around at 2.5 miles per hour with an overly sized “Chief Hells Kitchen 11 inched Slicer Shiv in his hand”, and a duplo clay stretch face mask on go along with it all. Is not in there at all.
 
But in all do fashion, and cause it’s H-ween day, gonna do a little backdrop up to overlooked slash disaster sequel. Now at the end of “Halloween 2” (Not The New One From The Eighties) Myers was shot in the eyes by his sis Laurie Strode, and then blown up by the guy who was trying to rehabilitate him Dr.Loomis. And he returns because they made a crap load of sequels, that just kept pumping the pipelines of blood into the whole Halloween franchise up to today.
 
But in part 3 was there a Mike Myers… No it was some crazy old Irish business guy, that makes Halloween masks for the kidys to wear (And They Croak Over And Die Wear it In Front Of The T.V. Set During That God Awful Halloween commercial LOL). So when I first saw that movie I thought to myself, they was drunk yea yea… That what it was when they made it, haha.  Now if you asked anybody about this movie sequel of Halloween, if there are in their right mind will tell you it sucked beyond being sucked. Other past Halloween sequels (Except III) was ok, the first I did like the most because it was new to me then.
 
So I guess for part 3, it could have been done under a different slash/horror title or something or that nature. It might have had a chance to stand out on it own better. But the question now is what is so crappy about it?.. First off it starts with some guy running around in a scrapyard with two business guys chasing after him, why does he lay on the ground and let one of the business guys just choke him into oblivion.
 
But the guy pulls on a chain tied around a block wedged under a car and it moves about 3 miles an hour LOL, crushing the business suit guy in some “William Shakespearian”  dramatic play type death scene. LOL, so the scenes look corny and that song on the T.V. screen that you will see a dam lot in the movie, will have you singing it for the rest of your life in your head (Especially if you watch the entire film haha).
 
And the star of the movie that plays a doctor one minute, but reverts to being a drunk the next while thinking he is detective sleuth [ He Thinks He’s Colombo 😦 ]. So Dougie Hoosier M.D., oops I mean Dr.Dan Challis, goes back to the hospital to check on the old guy that was attacked by the business guy.
 
And while Challis watches out for the guy until he leaves out of the room with a nurse, another business guy walks into to the weird old man’s hospital room and pokes his eyes out with his bare fingers (Dam That’s Blinding Karma For Ya). After the killer deed is done, the business guy goes outside to his car and wets himself up good with some 93 grade super premium gasoline and lights himself off in the car as it blows up.
 
So is anyone else starting to think, JUST WHAT IN HELL are they doing to this masterpiece Halloween sequel movie ROTFL. Ok so Dr. Challis then teams up with this chick named Elle, that happens to be the daughter of the old man who was killed in the hospital. Then Challis starts drinking again while hanging out with the town hobo, that tells him about the insane crazy Irish business men.
 
And again once he leaves the hobo to go about his way, yes the hobo gets confronted by two other business guys. And this time no eye poke, but rather gets his head ripped off in corny fashion?? LOL, oh man they need to stop already… Challis then is hanging with the girl chilling in bed, while that song plays on the radio… HAHAHA.
 
And then the movie just gets crapola strange. It’s a scene with this other woman finds one of the stickers on the back of the Halloween mask, and she starts to poke the computer chip on the back of it, and pokes, and ditto, then bam she gets an electric beam surge from the Commonwealth Edison blast to the face and her grill (Face) is jack up badly. Then some roaches just start to come out and walk over her face.
 
I might need a drink soon  myself because this movie is giving me some serious headache shakes. Challis with Elle, then take a investigated tour of the old Irish business man’s mask factory and while inside the old business man does not let them look in the final processing room for the finish product. So after they are escorted out the factory, they believe that something is foul about the whole thing.
 
And with all the drinking Challis does in this movie, i don’t really think he gives a rat’s a– really. But they decided they gonna leave town, but Elle gets snatched by the business guys. Then more business guys confront Challis, and they chase him for a few miles LOL. Dam REALLY…
 
He manages to evade them, and he goes back to the factory to see what really is going on in there. He gets inside LOL, This dude goes inside and see what looks to be an old woman sitting in the chair. He asks her questions while shaking her, and her head rolls off and he looking inside where it was to see gears turning inside of her. A robot??
 
 
He then gets grabbed by one of the business guys. They get into a scuffle, Challis beat the business guy down and punches into his stomach. Then some weird goo starts oozing out of the guys mouth, but he notices that the guys stomach is open so he grabs inside of him and pulls out wires? WHAT??
 
And dude gets caught again, this time by the old Irish business guy himself with two robots to back him up LOL. They take Challis on a further detailed look into the factory’s final process hidden room this time. And this is GOING TO GURANTEEDLY PISS YOU OFF ABOUT “Halloween III”, and the motive behind the killer masks. They was tied into Stonehenge.
 
Yea that’s right they stole a big giant slab of “Stonehenge Rock” as a magic link to the mask to in turn kill the kids that wear them. I’m just trying to figure out: How In The Hell Did They Get The Rock Over To America Without No One Even Noticing Them!? 
 
The old business guy then his Dr. Challis straped to a chair and puts one of the mask over his head and forces him to watch, now get this “Halloween” movie part I.  So i guess that is some relief for him because “Halloween III” is just junk on a  dusty shelf at this point… But Challis does break out after being confined to the chair and all, through a big air shaft. He then finds Elle in a room, strapped down on a gurney and frees her.
 
And they sneak past the robots getting to a control panel in another room, and the robots are turned away unsuspectingly for some odd reason. He presses the panel until the T.V. screen in the room and other rooms goes off playing you know what song, and the robots just look at the screens wondering why… He then sneaks up to the top of the room, without them STILL NOT noticing him.
 
And grabs a box of the masks microchips, and dumps them from above into the room with the robots causing them to short-circuit to death (Yea ROTFLAMO off times 59 at this point). At the same time the evil old Irish that is standing just outside of the energy circle flux that builds up from the chips hitting the floor, gets zapped with an electric beam and he lights up like a snowflaked covered Christmas tree and vanishes. Then the place starts to explode…
 
Then Challis and Elle escape driving but then Elle grabs Challis by the face (She’s A Robot) 😦 .He defeats she comically. And then runs to a gas station gets on the phone, and calls the T.V. Station telling them to pull the commercial off the air. Problem is somebody comes into the gas station and turns the channel to another station playing hehehe you know…
 
And the movie goes off with Challis just yelling, “Stop it”, “Stop It”, “STOP IT!!” Look this movie is just, just, I can’t even find the words to describe such Bullshit LOL. Even Jason Voorhies is left dangling in a corner with his dropped machete on the floor mumbling in tears saying, “I see why Mike didn’t want to do the film“. Happy Halloween People!!!   
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